


New Beginnings

by Lobotomite



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 09:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15046046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lobotomite/pseuds/Lobotomite
Summary: Neil is one of the best things to ever happen to the Foxes; it's easy to forget, sometimes, how much he's been through just to get here.





	New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mittamoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mittamoo/gifts).



They'd known from the start, that Neil wasn't quite _right_ \- wasn't exactly normal. Hell, he was the new Fox; they could have told you that he wasn't exactly normal before even knowing his name. Matt still remembers those early days, worrying about how the newbie would react to the truth of Kevin's life, of the vicious cruelty of his adoptive "family". They'd been so worried about how he'd handle what had been, to them, a whole new realm of controlled violence, that they'd never even considered that Neil might be all too familiar with the kind of thing Kevin was going through.

Neil had quickly proven himself to be more than they were expecting, of course. Straddling that line between Andrew's lot and the rest of them, getting hauled off on a night out with Andrew and extracting himself seemingly no worse for wear, the unexpected multilingulism. And then the sudden emergence of an almost suicidally aggressive Neil, mouthing off at Riko on national TV.

That, he thinks, was the point where they really started to realise that Neil wasn't just Fox-grade abnormal; Neil was something else. He was the lynchpin, managing to steer Andrew in a way nobody else could, managing to bridge the long-worn gap between the two halves of the team through sheer single-minded love for the game.

He knew Neil was special. He's ashamed to admit that it wasn't until he disappeared and Andrew went ballistic that he truly started considering how much suffering had gone into making him what he was.

He'd always had _some_ idea, of course. They all had. The way he hadn't even considered any of them would be willing to come get him from the first disastrous outing with the monsters, the aversion he'd had to being undressed around anybody, the way he was high-strung and secretive even for a Fox. It had all added up to make him a little bit... _weird_ , for lack of a better word. And of course, after the Riko incident, all of that strangeness had only continued to pile on.

So yes, they'd known he was different. They just hadn't had any real idea of just how much Neil must have been _hurting_ ; how much of his life before then had been spent scared and sore and alone. That sudden avalanche of understanding that came about after he was snatched right in front of their noses made him feel sick and useless; he'd thought it was bad, finding out what Kevin had been going through while everyone was convinced he was living in the lap of luxury, but this is worse. This is more personal. Matt had known about Kevin before he'd found out, of course, but not personally, not the way he'd managed to get to know Neil and somehow miss how bad he'd had it.

It's easier, now, after everything has had some time to settle around them and Neil is safe with them, where he belongs. It's brilliant, seeing Neil learn how to be happy as the team continues drawing closer around him, and most of the time their tumultuous first year seems like a bad dream.

Not all the time, though.

Neil is ever more comfortable around them, and it's great and Matt knows none of them would trade it for anything, but it also means that they inevitably get more and more glimpses into his painful past. It means watching Nicky's smile freeze and feeling Dan tense against Matt's side when Neil makes offhanded comments about sleeping on floors all by himself for a year. It means having to swallow his anger when Neil mentions run ins with his fathers men, includes casual references to violence in memories of his past. It means Dan crying into his chest after a night in which an inebriated Neil talked about his mother's cold cruelty and clearly viewed it as the most loved he had ever been.

The physical reminders of Neil's latest - and, thank god, last - confrontation with his father aren't raw and angry any more, but they always will be unavoidable. It's not a surprise, then, that there are other demonstrations of his father's cruelty hidden away under his clothes. But it's one thing to know, and another to see.

The first time anyone other than (he assumes) Andrew sees Neil in any stage of undress is an otherwise normal day. They'd just come off the court after a difficult win, panting and sweaty and riding the high of doing something they love well. They filed into the showers, already shedding gear on the way - and then Neil hadn't peeled away to wait on them all to be done before cleaning up himself. There was a brief second where even Andrew looked startled, but he recovered quickly, marching protectively behind Neil and throwing a vicious glare that snapped Nicky's mouth closed before he makes what Matt has to assume would have been an ill thought out comment.

Neil had clearly been nervous, movements stiff and hurried, but Matt's chest still squeezes with affection that Neil had trusted them enough to make that first step. They'd all done their best to make it as much of a non-event as possible, of course, just going about their business the way they always would while giving Neil as much space as possible. Even going out of their way not to acknowledge the change, though, the scars littering Neil's skin were unavoidable. The miscoloured skin in a shape that looks sickeningly like an iron, the corded lines twisting along his skin, it all makes his heart ache for the boy Neil had been and the man he is now.

Those reminders of Neil's past are going to be difficult to deal with for a long time yet, probably. But more frequent and increasing all the time are the reminders that Neil is happy, is comfortable with them, is moving on from his past. And that's what the Foxes have been for, from the beginning; giving kids with fucked up backgrounds another chance at happiness.


End file.
